I found these tips and I thought it might be helpful to new Dads or Dads-to-be. You can email it across to your partner using the share button below. Or even better, chat through it together in a relaxed conversation while out on a walk, chilling on the sofa or whatever it is you do for fun over the weekend.
Tips for New Dads in first few days after baby’s birth
1.The temptation for your partner (new mum) is to try to do it all, however, most midwives recommend that women stay in or around their bed for 10 days after the birth. Please remind her of this, don’t let her worry about anything but her recovery and looking after the baby I enjoyed going out and getting some fresh air, even if it was just across the street to the shops. Key message is not to let her do too much.
2. Discuss, figure out and agree you (new dad), or somebody else, who will be responsible for cooking, cleaning, fielding visitors, taking phone calls etc. Also have a plan for visitors and have a code word that she can use to tell you when she is tired and just want stop go to her room, while you still have visitors.
3. Your partner will be sore, whether she had a natural or caesarean. Even if she had a normal delivery and no stitches, she will be in some discomfort. She may be having painful cramps, or other such discomforts. Be conscious of this. Be kind, be patient, be loving, be long suffering.
4. Your partner should have plenty to eat and drink in order to help her make milk for the baby. No dieting allowed at this stage. Bring her drinks regularly and breakfast in bed would also be a lovely treat after a night with new baby. But don’t be forceful about it either, gently encourage.
5. Breastfeeding is natural, but doesn’t often come naturally. Ask her how it is going, do what you can to assist, such as propping her with pillows or having a foot rest ready. Some pain is inevitable as the nipples get used to so much friction, but if it is horribly painful seek help. Continue to check in with her about breastfeeding and any pain, over the first weeks with baby.
6. On or around the fourth day, she will feel (even more) emotional and may cry a lot. This is normal. It is not the day to invite your mother – a present or nice surprise might be good at this time! Put in a reminder in your phone and be extra lovely and attentive that day.
7. Please listen to her talking about the birth experience, even if it is boring. Though I don’t think I have ever heard a boring birth story.
8. She should not be doing sit ups, or any other strenuous exercise. However, pelvic floor exercises are crucial! Remind her to do them during every feed. You could try using a code word.
9. You can’t nurse the baby, but you can cuddle, wind, change and settle the baby. In fact, many Dads are better at putting baby to sleep because than you don’t smell of milk. If you are bottle feeding, you can feed baby, sterilise and prepare the bottles. Don’t wait for her to ask- offer or just do it.
10. Remember that she has no innate biological imperative to be any better at parenting than you. BUT she does have a need to feel good about what she is doing. If she corrects your technique, please try and bite your tongue. Be kind, be patient, be loving, be long suffering.
11. Tell her that she is wonderful and a fantastic mother. Look her in the eyes and mean it.
I will add these two:
12. Please let give her room to trust her instincts, especially if she is worried about baby. It is better to be safe than sorry (and medical staff are very kind to new parents and will carry out necessary checks to rule out any serious concerns and tell you what you should be mindful of). Do not hesitate to contact them if your partner feels like it is a good idea.
13. Let her ‘hug the baby’. Don’t force her to give you (or anyone else) the baby. That will create anxiety. Continue to be helpful and offer to hold and help with baby, soon she will be happy to take up your offer.
How was your husband the first weeks after baby arrived? Was he confident and ready to help with baby or a bit reserved? Or perhaps between you and Omugwo, he didn’t need to help? i would love to hear your experience. Expecting Mums would also be looking for what to expect, please do share.
source: antenatal notes