One afternoon I met up with my friend and business partner – we had a meeting at her apartment. After the meeting I got up to go, but she offered me lunch and I was not in a rush, someone reliable must have been watching my daughter, I can’t remember who now. I said yes. I could say yes to friendship that afternoon.
She said she was just making something quick and I had no expectations whatsoever. Next thing, she sets the table – it’s a perfect setting for a light lunch. She brings out salmon – a rare treat in Lagos, thanks to the price and even offers wine – ah, yes, yes!!!
So, the full offering arrived and it was lebanese bread, grill-pan seared salmon and courgette. Both fish and vegetables are seasoned very lightly and humous with some chilli pepper is served on the side. It all looked so good.
We talked – this time not about business, we ate and I was very grateful in that moment that she was my friend, because the whole scenario was nurturing my tummy and my soul.
I realised in that moment, that friendship is about support and about being there in hard times and having fun times together, but it’s also about giving. It’s about doing something special to treat your friend from time to time. And they’ll do something special to treat you from time to time, too.
It also reminded me that you have to put the work in with friendships. That they need attention and to be nurtured like any other relationship.
At this stage in my life, I dodge friendships with people who have too many close friends (it makes me nervous). Potential new Friendships are difficult because: I am too shy, or lazy, or a combination of both to do the work. New friendships make me feel guilty – will I disappoint you? Because I dont do a lot of the social right now. But I do not take my friends for granted.
My lunch partner friend has made
I have learnt over the years that if you have the right friends, even that small handful will feel like a multitude of friends. Enough to satisfy your intellect, give you laughs, call you out when you need to hear that your ish stinks and at the same time, make you feel loved. And, yes, I won’t say no to the occasional lunch, brunch or dinner, too – at your place, mine or dining out!
What do you look for in your friendships now that you’re older? Have you managed to maintain the same friendship group from school ? Do you do dinner or have a routine/tradition for keeping in touch? I would love to hear your experience of friendships and making friends at this stage of your life.